You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
