Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
