cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
