I am puke
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
