Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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