First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he thought i was a dude.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
