For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
