i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
