he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
