Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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