I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
not ubering you a puppy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
