I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
