My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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