dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i think i just lost a toe
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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