I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
