My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
