she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize