My hand turned me down
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Farmville is her only friend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
