I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
