Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize