Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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