He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
