I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize