i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
