where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
