I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
