I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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