he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
