If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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