He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
