You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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