I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
