he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
