I am puke
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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