let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We just shotgunned beers for America
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
