You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
