i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
