I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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