If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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