Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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