A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
