I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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