just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize