im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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