He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
