i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
is it fun? or sober?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
