Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
