Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
