Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
