don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
