His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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