Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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