Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize