Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
