Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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